Ainsley Sure Likes Walnuts
Note: This story follows The Blue Man on the Current River. The number on my caller ID looked a little familiar, but I get a lot of calls from the 314 area code and I just can’t tell them apart. As soon as I heard her voice on the line, I wished I’d let the call…
The Blue Man on the Current River
Rather someone else do the reading? Listen to Mr. Creeps tell the story. Back when other folks were becoming Robber Barons, or at least homesteading good farmland, my people didn’t have the good sense to do anything that would set their descendants—namely, me—up for an easy life. Instead, they decided to homestead in the Current…
Resurrection
The Resurrection began right on time. The rapping started as soon as the shadows in my study merged into a deeper darkness. I tossed down the rest of my whiskey and walked to the front door. I opened it wide and looked out at my creation. “Hello, Molly,” I said to the familiar stranger on…
Bubba the Bloodsucker
Rather someone else do the reading? Listen to Viidith22 tell the tale. I called him Bubba, but it was just an ironic moniker for the annual Grist Mill Festival. You see, we don’t have Bubbas around here. They’re a creation of another place, and maybe even another time. “Bubba” is a southern nickname, and this…
How do you get a banjo player off your porch?
There’s this joke that old-time musicians used to like to tell, but maybe now it’s only popular amongst us fiddlers: Q: How do you get a banjo player off your porch? A: You pay for your pizza. It’s just a bit of good-natured humor, but I don’t think Michael liked it. I knew Michael was…
Someone keeps putting dirty dishes in my sink.
“The one thing you need to know about the house is that there isn’t a dishwasher.” The realtor was looking at me with an expression on her face like she’d just shared the long-hidden secrets of the universe, but this particular secret didn’t seem to be very well hidden. We were standing in the cramped…
My Mother’s Burnt Offerings
Mom always loved Jesus more than she loved me. She told me so herself, over and over again, when I was growing up. Every morning she would say to me, “Jimmy, you’re my only child, and I love you more than I love myself. But I love Jesus even more.” Then she would read the…
I said it with flowers. That was a mistake.
There’s this little flower shop on the way home from the office. At least, I thought it was a flower shop. The sign on the window says, “Granny’s Yarbs and Apothecary.” I wasn’t sure what to make of a name like that, but since the dirty shop windows were filled with plants and blooms I…
We protect our family
I never much liked going to my granny’s house when I was a little girl. Don’t get me wrong, Granny wasn’t mean or cruel or anything else. She was just creepy and weird and very, very hillbilly. When she spoke, it was with a thick hill accent that most folks wouldn’t understand these days. When…
That new subscription meal box really sucked
My culinary misadventures into inadvertently assisting in the summoning what I can only assume is a demon began innocently enough. It all started just over a year ago with one of those meal box subscriptions. Learning to cook for myself after Mama died wasn’t hard, but all the rest of the process of preparing my…
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